I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize