batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
