38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
