hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
