apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
