so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
