worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
