I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
