4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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