3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
