I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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