there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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