What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
