I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
