Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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