I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
