i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
