Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
