i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
