He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
