dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
