Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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