Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
