Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

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(763): View more from Minnesota

dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

(608): View more from Wisconsin

clearly you are not from wisconsin

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

people are starting to question the shark bite story

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(313): View more from Michigan

The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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(954): View more from Florida

in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.

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(929): View more from

are you comparing glasses to pregnancy

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