She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
