This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
