Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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