question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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