I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
