Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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