If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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