She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
