You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
