Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize