everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
