I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize