He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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