dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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