Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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