All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
