my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
