I wish I only lived at night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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