hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
