I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
