wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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