My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
