Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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