He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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