This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
