Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
