question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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