Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
