I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
