the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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