This girl is more easily done than said...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize