I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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