I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
