so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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