Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The air was thick with penises
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
