How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
