Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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