I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
