I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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