How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
