i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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