My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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