Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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