Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he told me I talked like a deaf person
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
