you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize