Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize