please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
